If US News & World Report used student fashion sense in any of their rankings, UA would be in big, big trouble. The students here are some of the most unfashionable and poorly dressed I've ever encountered. There is a complete lack of clothing creativity here and I am beyond tired of looking at the following outfits and articles:
1. The Sorority Special
Consists of: Norts (Nike shorts) and oversized t-shirt
This is by far the most popular and pervasive fashion statement made by the women on campus. I'm convinced that Nike must generate about half of its revenue in Tuscaloosa from the sale of these gym shorts which are not only great for workouts in the student rec center, but also for attending class, having dinner at a restaurant, grocery shopping, and myriad other activities. I sat down in a row of girls in my class one day and five of the six were sporting the Sorority Special look. The sixth said she would have been, but she had a job interview and didn't have time to change.
2. The Fratguy Deluxe
Consists of: short shorts (mid-thigh length, often pleated), tucked in polo shirt, dress loafers
If you're lecturing to a class of these offenders, beware - you may get an eye-full of more than you bargained for. One of my old students frequently complained about seeing her classmate's "entire undercarriage" when he crossed his legs. Not pleasant.
Dress loafers are the standard shoe choice with this outfit, but boat shoes are also acceptable to the Deluxe-look faithful. Polo-brand shirts are the rule here, but rebels may occasionally spit in the face of convention by mixing it up with a LaCoste or even Vineyard Vines shirt; collared and buttoned, of course.
3. The Teva sandal
Ladies, you're about one fanny pack shy of being institutionalized when you sport these awful things. You drive your dad's $50,000 Mercedes, I'm sure he'll buy you a pair of shoes that don't look like something geriatrics wear around the shuffleboard court at Happy Acres. I would suggest rounding up every pair of these and donating them to the needy. But I doubt the needy would wear them. I suppose that only leaves the option of burning them, which is an undertaking I would happily fund.
4. Plastic neon-color sunglasses and Costa Del Mar sunglasses + foam strap worn like a necklace
Really? I mean, really?
5. The Performance Fishing Gear (PFG) shirt
Great for fishing. Not so great for: class, a night out on the town, restaurants, bars, football games, the gym, or just about anywhere else that isn't on a boat with a fishing pole in your hand.
One of my students is on the fishing team - he probably fishes nearly every day, so I'll give him a pass. Everyone else needs to stop wearing these awful shirts soon. Like, last week.
I can't think of any place in America, save the few square miles that are the University of Alabama, that would find these shirts acceptable as an option for daily-wear. For the life of me I can't figure this one out. The photo doesn't show it, but the back of this shirt has a vent with mesh lining at about shoulder height. Stylin'.
That's it. I'm sure that there are some other awful fashion choices being made on campus, but these are the most heinous and frequent from what I can tell. Like so many other things in the south--e.g. dipping pizza in Catalina dressing, putting mayonnaise in eggs--I simply don't get it. But perhaps I'm not meant to.
1 comment:
LOL! This really does sum up the fashion at UA.
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