A little Yankee ingenuity

My middle brother is a notorious clothes thief. I don't quite understand why he never seems to have clean socks or shirts considering that my dad has installed what amounts to a mini laundromat in his basement to facilitate mass clothes washing (two--count 'em two--washers and dryers and a huge counter to fold things on).

My youngest brother Trent wouldn't have problems with running out of clean clothes if the middle one didn't constantly borrow from his dresser. Mind you that these children are 27 and 24 - well past the ages when doing one's own laundry from wash to fold should be an issue.

Anyway, Trent had finally had enough with waking up to an empty sock drawer last week and sent me this photo of his solution:

Not exactly fodder for Better Homes and Gardens, but the locking system (consisting of steel rod, heavy duty eyelets, and two padlocks) seems capable of preventing theft when he's at work or out on the town. You'll also notice the mismatched knobs on that jewel of a dresser. Pure class.

Why I'll be wearing purple on October 20, 2010

I am wearing purple today because I believe that ignorance should be confronted, not just ignored. Because it was through the proactive actions of others – both gay and straight – that I was forced to critically examine my own views of people who are different from me. Because I realized that being merely indifferent isn't good enough.

I am wearing purple today because there was a time in my life when a small-town mentality would have prevented me from meeting many of the people who I now most care about. Andy, Jon, Katherine – and so many others – I wouldn't trade the friendships I have with you for the world. Thank you for enriching my life.

It isn't enough to adopt an attitude of “live and let live” when there are so many on the wrong side of issues facing the gay community. Don't allow your own apathy and indifference to contribute to a culture of discrimination that aims to deprive others of the same basic rights – including that of going to school or work in a hate-free environment – that you enjoy.

And finally, though acts of solidarity like this one are a fine start, don't be foolish enough to think that wearing purple or posting a facebook update one day of the year are enough to fight the intolerance that runs amok throughout society. To truly succeed, we must challenge those who vocalize ignorance, advocate for those who don't have a voice, and hold accountable those who should be championing the cause of equality. Don't let your own indifference contribute to the loss of another fellow human.

Out of Alabama

For a few days anyway.

I'm flying to Chicago tomorrow. I can't decide if I'm so excited because I'm seeing family and friends for the first time in over a year or if I'm simply ecstatic not to be in Alabama for a weekend. Either way, I've desperately needed this trip for a while.

The main event of the weekend is a friend's wedding and I'll be wearing an incredible cravat for the occasion. That's quite exciting as well.

Rufus will likely be very unhappy with my absence, but he's going to have to get over it. Fortunately, Ray has volunteered to watch him until I return. Here's a recent photo of the little monster trying on his Halloween costume (he's going as a lobster thanks to Kelley)...

And baby makes two

At some point, I'll have more time to tell everyone about my new dog Rufus Pugwright III. Until then, here are some pictures of him.


Modeling his stylish new raincoat:

Helping me grade finals:

An American tragedy

I was drinking cheap beer long before the economic downturn made it cool to do so. And anyone who knows me knows that my favorite beer for the past several years has been Miller High Life.

Normally there's no issue buying High Life. In fact, I cannot think of a time - including the Kentucky Derby, Indianapolis 500, or Alabama-Tennessee football game - when I've tried to buy a case and couldn't do so because of supply issues. Which is what made my afternoon visit to Publix so tragic. This was the scene of the crime:


All the High Life was gone! As you can see, there was one 12 pack of High Life Light cans and two 12 packs of High Life Light bottles. I stared at the shelf in stunned silence for the better part of five minutes. I asked two stock boys and a cashier if there was any in the back and they all informed me that the beer company only leaves what fits in the cooler. I asked if any of them had the delivery guy's cell phone number. Nothing but blank stares. So I did what I had to do: I bought the cans of High Life Light.

I can't stand light beer of any sort - even High Life Light - but I had no choice. I got the cans (since bottles are pretentious) and went home to sulk. And to drink an unreasonable facsimile of my favorite - and only Union-made - beer. If this problem isn't rectified by Saturday, Publix has lost me as a customer for life.

I named a dog

Kelley rescued this ferocious beast of a dog who was recently carted off from someone's front porch by animal control. I figure animal control's resources could have been better allocated that morning, but maybe the person who found him outside has some phobia of animals that weigh less than 10 pounds and sleep 23 hours a day.


Anyway, Kelley hadn't really gotten around to naming him and I decided he needed one. His list of accomplishments includes sleeping 98% of the time and refusing to fetch, chew, or play. As far as dogs go, he's pretty much a dud. Which is why I named him Dudley. Fortunately he's pretty cute and likes to snuggle when he sleeps.

At his checkup today, the vet found that someone had shot him with a BB gun and that the BB was still lodged in his skin. Any person who could shoot a dog this defenseless with a BB gun should be violated in ways that I won't publicly state. Suffice to say, I think it's reprehensible that someone could shoot a dog that clearly couldn't possibly threaten him. The good news is that the BB didn't really injure Dudley and with the exception of needing some worm medicine, he's in pretty good shape.

At the corner of Watermelon Rd and MLK Blvd

Kenon and I had lunch at Archibald's Barbeque today. Hard to believe we drove right past it the first time by considering the building is in such pristine condition and conveniently located five steps behind the proprietor's house. Check out the grease running down the side of the chimney where they smoke the meat. Yummy.

The food was pretty good and the inspection certificate said they earned a 98%, though I'm not entirely certain there's anyone working for the Health Department who's foolish enough to think he could walk away and actually live after giving this place a low grade. It's probably safe to assume that grade is a bit inflated.

If you'd like to visit Archibald's, just take Watermelon Road west to Martin Luther King Blvd. And no, I couldn't make that shit up if I wanted to. Kenon was even more astounded by the irony and blatant racism than I was.

Not that it should come as a shock, but Archibald's accepts cash only and there are no restroom facilities unless you count several large trees in the back yard. Also, there are no wetnaps, so it's best to get the pork sandwich instead of the ribs if you don't want sticky hands on the drive home.

Alabama counting lesson

It's bad enough that I have to walk by these giant bathrooms on wheels on my way to class every day, but should I really have to lose IQ points doing it?

A small victory against big pharma

I've had a headache for the past two weeks. It's likely from stress, but maybe it's a brain tumor. I don't really know.

My supply of generic ibuprofen gave out this afternoon and I got a real gem of a migraine after lunch so I stopped at the world's most inefficient BP on the way home to get some Excedrin (you know, the headache medicine) with the hope that it might stave off the worst of the symptoms. When I got in my car and opened up the little pack that was supposed to contain two pills, I realized I had gotten not two, not three, but four and a half pills! This was nearly as exciting as the time I cracked open an egg with two yolks.

Lest I be foolish enough to think that this was my lucky day, I was reminded why my life sucks when I came home and my phone bill was in the mailbox. Overages again. Damn you AT&T.

Dr. Zhou: I've never seen an old man with muscles like that before."

I presented a chapter about electromyography in my psychophysiology class today. This was the opening slide:

The professor remarked that he'd "never seen an old man with muscles like that before." The whole thing seemed to be a big hit, though I was a little disappointed that Mary Katherine didn't attend class today for obvious reasons. This has the potential to be a favorite class; stay tuned.

A new old drum

It's not that I needed another snare drum, but this old Kent was impossible to pass up. The seller was parting with his collection (http://www.vintagedrumforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=12817&d=1264905999) of 30 Kent snares and two Kent kits and was nice enough to separate two of the snare drums and sell them to me. I kept this red sparkle one and shipped its blue onyx cousin to Rob Edwards, who is now on the road with Days of the New.

Even with new heads and snares, I've got less than a hundred bucks total in this drum, so I don't feel that guilty for buying it. The biggest problem is that the shelving unit in my apartment is now completely full, which means that I can either take some more drums home to store at my dad's place or get another shelf, which of course will create the problem of empty shelf space that needs to be filled with more drums. It's a vicious, expensive cycle.

Santa sighting

Santa Claus is vacationing in Alabama and wearing a Hawaiian shirt. His popularity on campus is second only to that of coach Bear Bryant. I assume he didn't travel via reindeer as he is smart enough to realize that they would be shot on sight upon entering 'Bama airspace.

Fred receives the gift of warmth

Fred's Snuggie arrived in the mail today and Kristi reported that he wore it for five minutes with "no complaint." We'll see how long that lasts. Perhaps he'll put two and two together if he wears it outside and stays warm, but I'm doubtful. He never really was the smartest dog on the block. But he's certainly the cutest.

And yes, I deserve ridicule for buying an item that I once publicly mocked. So be it.

Fred report

Fred was apparently exhausted from a major day of playing with other dogs on Suday. Kristi was good enough to send me a photo of the aftermath and reported that he lounged all day today. Clearly, he remains the world's greatest dog.

Great Alabama blizzard of 2010

I made a snowperson from the few flakes that stuck to the top of my car this morning. You can see the accumulation on the street that was responsible for the university and many businesses closing today.

The orange hat that I put on my snowperson is an old guitar pick I found in the parking lot. It's there for scale more than anything.