December through February, a photo essay

Here's the end of my 2010 and the start of my 2011 in eight pictures:


Rufus and I had quite the adventure driving to Louisville for Christmas. We had to stay in a sleazy Days Inn somewhere in south Kentucky because the interstate was covered in snow. Fortunately he had a sweater to stay warm while he played in the snow for the first time in his little doggie life.

I offered to replace the burned-out bulbs at my grandma's, but my aunt informed me that they weren't actually burned out. Grandpa insisted that five bulbs "burned too much juice" so three of them were unscrewed enough not to come on.

I got these awful sheets as a gag gift and felt guilty throwing them away without using them at least once. Unfortunately, a classmate saw me putting them into the dryer at the laundromat, which was uncomfortable for all. I did use them for one night and then promptly put them in the trash where they belonged.

This was a somewhat strange sight in Publix during January. I thought that maybe they were selling some type of adult magazine, but when I turned one around, I saw this:

Apparently anything featuring Auburn's football team is akin to nudity in Tuscaloosa.
This was the scene outside moments after the university shut down the campus and canceled classes for snow. I barely made it home that day. (Due to some great drink specials at the bar I stopped at on the way to my place, not because of the snow.)

I dare anyone to find a cheaper human being than Gyro Newman. He wouldn't even pay a dime to print a sign to direct students to his study. Instead, he hand-made this jewel.

So that's the past three months of my life. Ridiculous as usual. Now I should stop procrastinating and finish some school work.

Email to my class

I always shut and lock the door at 9:30 sharp when my media class starts. All of the late arrivals have to wait outside until I let them in, which is usually accompanied with some acerbic comment about getting to class on time, being responsible, etc.

Today, I was two minutes late to class because I was upstairs gabbing. One of those little turds had shut and locked the door on me, which was probably the ballsiest, funniest thing a student has ever done. The whole class was laughing at me and refused to tell me who did it. I would have shaken his/her hand for doing it, but there seemed to be a pact not to tell.

So I sent an email out to all of them with the enticement of extra credit for snitching. We'll see if I get any information. Here's the message:

Class,

I'm offering a reward of five extra credit points for information leading to the identification of the student who shut the door on me this morning. Any email or other correspondence will be kept in the strictest confidence. Whoever did it won't be punished, but probably will be publicly ridiculed at my convenience.

I know there has to be a rat or two among you who would be willing to sell out a classmate to help yourself. Remember, there's no honor among thieves.

Have a great weekend.

Peace,
jc

A little Yankee ingenuity

My middle brother is a notorious clothes thief. I don't quite understand why he never seems to have clean socks or shirts considering that my dad has installed what amounts to a mini laundromat in his basement to facilitate mass clothes washing (two--count 'em two--washers and dryers and a huge counter to fold things on).

My youngest brother Trent wouldn't have problems with running out of clean clothes if the middle one didn't constantly borrow from his dresser. Mind you that these children are 27 and 24 - well past the ages when doing one's own laundry from wash to fold should be an issue.

Anyway, Trent had finally had enough with waking up to an empty sock drawer last week and sent me this photo of his solution:

Not exactly fodder for Better Homes and Gardens, but the locking system (consisting of steel rod, heavy duty eyelets, and two padlocks) seems capable of preventing theft when he's at work or out on the town. You'll also notice the mismatched knobs on that jewel of a dresser. Pure class.

Why I'll be wearing purple on October 20, 2010

I am wearing purple today because I believe that ignorance should be confronted, not just ignored. Because it was through the proactive actions of others – both gay and straight – that I was forced to critically examine my own views of people who are different from me. Because I realized that being merely indifferent isn't good enough.

I am wearing purple today because there was a time in my life when a small-town mentality would have prevented me from meeting many of the people who I now most care about. Andy, Jon, Katherine – and so many others – I wouldn't trade the friendships I have with you for the world. Thank you for enriching my life.

It isn't enough to adopt an attitude of “live and let live” when there are so many on the wrong side of issues facing the gay community. Don't allow your own apathy and indifference to contribute to a culture of discrimination that aims to deprive others of the same basic rights – including that of going to school or work in a hate-free environment – that you enjoy.

And finally, though acts of solidarity like this one are a fine start, don't be foolish enough to think that wearing purple or posting a facebook update one day of the year are enough to fight the intolerance that runs amok throughout society. To truly succeed, we must challenge those who vocalize ignorance, advocate for those who don't have a voice, and hold accountable those who should be championing the cause of equality. Don't let your own indifference contribute to the loss of another fellow human.

Out of Alabama

For a few days anyway.

I'm flying to Chicago tomorrow. I can't decide if I'm so excited because I'm seeing family and friends for the first time in over a year or if I'm simply ecstatic not to be in Alabama for a weekend. Either way, I've desperately needed this trip for a while.

The main event of the weekend is a friend's wedding and I'll be wearing an incredible cravat for the occasion. That's quite exciting as well.

Rufus will likely be very unhappy with my absence, but he's going to have to get over it. Fortunately, Ray has volunteered to watch him until I return. Here's a recent photo of the little monster trying on his Halloween costume (he's going as a lobster thanks to Kelley)...

And baby makes two

At some point, I'll have more time to tell everyone about my new dog Rufus Pugwright III. Until then, here are some pictures of him.


Modeling his stylish new raincoat:

Helping me grade finals:

An American tragedy

I was drinking cheap beer long before the economic downturn made it cool to do so. And anyone who knows me knows that my favorite beer for the past several years has been Miller High Life.

Normally there's no issue buying High Life. In fact, I cannot think of a time - including the Kentucky Derby, Indianapolis 500, or Alabama-Tennessee football game - when I've tried to buy a case and couldn't do so because of supply issues. Which is what made my afternoon visit to Publix so tragic. This was the scene of the crime:


All the High Life was gone! As you can see, there was one 12 pack of High Life Light cans and two 12 packs of High Life Light bottles. I stared at the shelf in stunned silence for the better part of five minutes. I asked two stock boys and a cashier if there was any in the back and they all informed me that the beer company only leaves what fits in the cooler. I asked if any of them had the delivery guy's cell phone number. Nothing but blank stares. So I did what I had to do: I bought the cans of High Life Light.

I can't stand light beer of any sort - even High Life Light - but I had no choice. I got the cans (since bottles are pretentious) and went home to sulk. And to drink an unreasonable facsimile of my favorite - and only Union-made - beer. If this problem isn't rectified by Saturday, Publix has lost me as a customer for life.