Uncautiously Pessimistic

I've moved.

2012-01-26T23:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks for visiting! I've moved old posts and am creating new content here:

www.justincombs.com

It's always a party in Phifer 440

2011-12-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

There's a reason I can't work in my office. As this photo shows, when I try to work there I am bothered by all sorts of people. Last week, I had been in for all of five minutes before this swarm of joy arrived to keep me company. Six people all at once. As Kim Bissell said, "it's asking a lot of you to entertain so many people so often." I couldn't agree more.

Rufus lets me know he's hungry

2011-12-15T21:25:00.000-08:00

It's dinnertime dude. Feed me.

On Louisville's loss of ear X-tacy

2011-11-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

When ear X-tacy announced its closing this week, it was sad, but not all that surprising news. The iconic Bardstown Road music store had made its financial woes of the past few years well known through a series of news conferences and online announcements over the past 12 months or so.

Though I'd love to go on a tirade about the evils that big box and online retailers present to local merchants, I won't. Not today anyway. I will however say this: If it hadn't been for ear X-tacy I may have never discovered Drive by Truckers, Bodeco, or My Morning Jacket, all bands that produce music which enriches my life every time that I listen to one of their albums.

Gone too is a place I was always proud to take non-Louisvillians to. ear X-tacy really was one of those places that made Louisville hip, and even--as their ads touted--a little weird. So thanks for the memories. And god help those Louisvillians who, now without a local music store that is willing to stock eclectic selections, are sentenced to lifetimes of purchasing MP3s recorded by Justin Bieber and the latest American Idol wash-up.

The basic guide to the (not so) many fashions of the University of Alabama

2011-09-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

If US News & World Report used student fashion sense in any of their rankings, UA would be in big, big trouble. The students here are some of the most unfashionable and poorly dressed I've ever encountered. There is a complete lack of clothing creativity here and I am beyond tired of looking at the following outfits and articles:

1. The Sorority Special

Consists of: Norts (Nike shorts) and oversized t-shirt

This is by far the most popular and pervasive fashion statement made by the women on campus. I'm convinced that Nike must generate about half of its revenue in Tuscaloosa from the sale of these gym shorts which are not only great for workouts in the student rec center, but also for attending class, having dinner at a restaurant, grocery shopping, and myriad other activities. I sat down in a row of girls in my class one day and five of the six were sporting the Sorority Special look. The sixth said she would have been, but she had a job interview and didn't have time to change.

2. The Fratguy Deluxe

Consists of: short shorts (mid-thigh length, often pleated), tucked in polo shirt, dress loafers

If you're lecturing to a class of these offenders, beware - you may get an eye-full of more than you bargained for. One of my old students frequently complained about seeing her classmate's "entire undercarriage" when he crossed his legs. Not pleasant.

Dress loafers are the standard shoe choice with this outfit, but boat shoes are also acceptable to the Deluxe-look faithful. Polo-brand shirts are the rule here, but rebels may occasionally spit in the face of convention by mixing it up with a LaCoste or even Vineyard Vines shirt; collared and buttoned, of course.

3. The Teva sandal

Ladies, you're about one fanny pack shy of being institutionalized when you sport these awful things. You drive your dad's $50,000 Mercedes, I'm sure he'll buy you a pair of shoes that don't look like something geriatrics wear around the shuffleboard court at Happy Acres. I would suggest rounding up every pair of these and donating them to the needy. But I doubt the needy would wear them. I suppose that only leaves the option of burning them, which is an undertaking I would happily fund.

4. Plastic neon-color sunglasses and Costa Del Mar sunglasses + foam strap worn like a necklace

Really? I mean, really?

5. The Performance Fishing Gear (PFG) shirt

Great for fishing. Not so great for: class, a night out on the town, restaurants, bars, football games, the gym, or just about anywhere else that isn't on a boat with a fishing pole in your hand.

One of my students is on the fishing team - he probably fishes nearly every day, so I'll give him a pass. Everyone else needs to stop wearing these awful shirts soon. Like, last week.

I can't think of any place in America, save the few square miles that are the University of Alabama, that would find these shirts acceptable as an option for daily-wear. For the life of me I can't figure this one out. The photo doesn't show it, but the back of this shirt has a vent with mesh lining at about shoulder height. Stylin'.

That's it. I'm sure that there are some other awful fashion choices being made on campus, but these are the most heinous and frequent from what I can tell. Like so many other things in the south--e.g. dipping pizza in Catalina dressing, putting mayonnaise in eggs--I simply don't get it. But perhaps I'm not meant to.

Getting into character

2011-08-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

I told someone the other day that I needed to "get into character" before the first day of class. When he asked me what character, I told him "Mr. Hand from Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

I'm not sure how many kids in that room are like Jeff Spicoli, but come hell or high water, I'll insist they be capable of giving at least a rambling, semi-coherent statement on the basics of the advertising industry by the end of the semester.

Otherwise, I'll be calculating how much of my time they've wasted and show up to discuss Intro to Advertising with them during home football game days.

Am I the only one who sees the lunacy in this?

2011-07-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

We frequently hear about how badly US universities are hurting. There's no money for professor raises, year after year students are expected to pay more for tuition, and endowments are reeling from poor investment decisions. It's no wonder that the public education system in this country is not the envy of the world, as crazies such as Kurt Vonnegut suggested it should be.

The University of Alabama Board of Trustees this year approved a 9% increase for the 2011-2012 academic year. Students who are already struggling to attain a degree are now expected to go deeper into debt before entering an economy with few job prospects. The kicker is that the same board has also recently approved several Greek housing projects, which you can read about here. The gist is that a number of fraternities and sororities will be

getting new houses, one of which will cost nearly $12 million. Oddly, the university pays for these houses and is then paid back by the Greek organizations which reside in them. This is important because most sorority and fraternity members will argue that the university doesn't actually pay for the homes, but rather finances them for the groups. So really, they aren't losing that money, they're just tying it up for decades in housing that's only available to a select few.

I find this problematic for a few reasons. First, the university has demolished student dormitories to make room new Greek housing, which has caused a campus housing shortage. More importantly, the university is using tens, if not hundreds, of milli

ons of dollars to extend financing to organizations that are allowed to use whatever membership selection criteria that they deem fitting when inviting new members to join.

And whether or not any of them will admit it, race is very clearly one of those factors. Though it isn't written in any by-law, rule, or regulation, there is no question that the University of Alabama Greek system practices de facto segregation. If you really need evidence, I suggest you look at the Delta Delta Delta sorority's chapter photograph here. I've scoured that crowd for a non-white face but couldn't find a single one. Why am I picking on the tri-Delts? They're the ones getting a new $12 million house despite the fact that they already have a huge place to call home on sorority row.

I'm sure many people might find my assertion inflammatory. They'll likely claim I'm anti-Greek and out to badmouth the system (and by extension the United States of America (yes, it's an Animal House reference)). The fact is, I was in a fraternity during my undergraduate years. In fact, I was the president of that fraternity. I am still proud to tell people about my affiliation. That doesn't mean I'm proud of everything that transpired over the course of my active years in the chapter. I'm not. That's why I encourage current undergrad members to

consider the potential positive consequences of opening the doors of the chapter to those who are different, whether they are non-straight, non-white, non-religious, or non-whatever. I advocate for this because so many of my very favorite fraternity brothers are one or more of those things. However, I have yet to meet any Greek at UA who was even remotely receptive to such an idea. The status quo reigns supreme here.

Which is why I will be advocating that UA's non-Greek students demand better from their university and its Board of Trustees. Instead of financing multi-million dollar fraternity castles, the university should be investing to alleviate crowding at computer labs, dorms, dining facilities, and the Rec. The university should be investing in procuring the best and brightest professors, grad students, and staff. The university should look for ways to prevent yet another tuition increase. Any of those things would be money better spent than constructing mansio

ns for groups that aren't open to all UA students.

The soon-to-open 27,000 square feet ATO house at UA.

December through February, a photo essay

2011-03-09T10:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the end of my 2010 and the start of my 2011 in eight pictures:

Rufus and I had quite the adventure driving to Louisville for Christmas. We had to stay in a sleazy Days Inn somewhere in south Kentucky because the interstate was covered in snow. Fortunately he had a sweater to stay warm while he played in the snow for the first time in his little doggie life.

I offered to replace the burned-out bulbs at my grandma's, but my aunt informed me that they weren't actually burned out. Grandpa insisted that five bulbs "burned too much juice" so three of them were unscrewed enough not to come on.

I got these awful sheets as a gag gift and felt guilty throwing them away without using them at least once. Unfortunately, a classmate saw me putting them into the dryer at the laundromat, which was uncomfortable for all. I did use them for one night and then promptly put them in the trash where they belonged.

This was a somewhat strange sight in Publix during January. I thought that maybe they were selling some type of adult magazine, but when I turned one around, I saw this:

Apparently anything featuring Auburn's football team is akin to nudity in Tuscaloosa.
This was the scene outside moments after the university shut down the campus and canceled classes for snow. I barely made it home that day. (Due to some great drink specials at the bar I stopped at on the way to my place, not because of the snow.)

I dare anyone to find a cheaper human being than Gyro Newman. He wouldn't even pay a dime to print a sign to direct students to his study. Instead, he hand-made this jewel.

So that's the past three months of my life. Ridiculous as usual. Now I should stop procrastinating and finish some school work.

Email to my class

2011-01-27T18:03:00.000-08:00

I always shut and lock the door at 9:30 sharp when my media class starts. All of the late arrivals have to wait outside until I let them in, which is usually accompanied with some acerbic comment about getting to class on time, being responsible, etc.

Today, I was two minutes late to class because I was upstairs gabbing. One of those little turds had shut and locked the door on me, which was probably the ballsiest, funniest thing a student has ever done. The whole class was laughing at me and refused to tell me who did it. I would have shaken his/her hand for doing it, but there seemed to be a pact not to tell.

So I sent an email out to all of them with the enticement of extra credit for snitching. We'll see if I get any information. Here's the message:

Class,

I'm offering a reward of five extra credit points for information leading to the identification of the student who shut the door on me this morning. Any email or other correspondence will be kept in the strictest confidence. Whoever did it won't be punished, but probably will be publicly ridiculed at my convenience.

I know there has to be a rat or two among you who would be willing to sell out a classmate to help yourself. Remember, there's no honor among thieves.

Have a great weekend.

Peace,
jc

A little Yankee ingenuity

2010-12-11T16:38:00.000-08:00

My middle brother is a notorious clothes thief. I don't quite understand why he never seems to have clean socks or shirts considering that my dad has installed what amounts to a mini laundromat in his basement to facilitate mass clothes washing (two--count 'em two--washers and dryers and a huge counter to fold things on).

My youngest brother Trent wouldn't have problems with running out of clean clothes if the middle one didn't constantly borrow from his dresser. Mind you that these children are 27 and 24 - well past the ages when doing one's own laundry from wash to fold should be an issue.

Anyway, Trent had finally had enough with waking up to an empty sock drawer last week and sent me this photo of his solution:

Not exactly fodder for Better Homes and Gardens, but the locking system (consisting of steel rod, heavy duty eyelets, and two padlocks) seems capable of preventing theft when he's at work or out on the town. You'll also notice the mismatched knobs on that jewel of a dresser. Pure class.

Why I'll be wearing purple on October 20, 2010

2010-10-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

I am wearing purple today because I believe that ignorance should be confronted, not just ignored. Because it was through the proactive actions of others – both gay and straight – that I was forced to critically examine my own views of people who are different from me. Because I realized that being merely indifferent isn't good enough.

I am wearing purple today because there was a time in my life when a small-town mentality would have prevented me from meeting many of the people who I now most care about. Andy, Jon, Katherine – and so many others – I wouldn't trade the friendships I have with you for the world. Thank you for enriching my life.

It isn't enough to adopt an attitude of “live and let live” when there are so many on the wrong side of issues facing the gay community. Don't allow your own apathy and indifference to contribute to a culture of discrimination that aims to deprive others of the same basic rights – including that of going to school or work in a hate-free environment – that you enjoy.

And finally, though acts of solidarity like this one are a fine start, don't be foolish enough to think that wearing purple or posting a facebook update one day of the year are enough to fight the intolerance that runs amok throughout society. To truly succeed, we must challenge those who vocalize ignorance, advocate for those who don't have a voice, and hold accountable those who should be championing the cause of equality. Don't let your own indifference contribute to the loss of another fellow human.

Out of Alabama

2010-10-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

For a few days anyway.

I'm flying to Chicago tomorrow. I can't decide if I'm so excited because I'm seeing family and friends for the first time in over a year or if I'm simply ecstatic not to be in Alabama for a weekend. Either way, I've desperately needed this trip for a while.

The main event of the weekend is a friend's wedding and I'll be wearing an incredible cravat for the occasion. That's quite exciting as well.

Rufus will likely be very unhappy with my absence, but he's going to have to get over it. Fortunately, Ray has volunteered to watch him until I return. Here's a recent photo of the little monster trying on his Halloween costume (he's going as a lobster thanks to Kelley)...

And baby makes two

2010-08-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

At some point, I'll have more time to tell everyone about my new dog Rufus Pugwright III. Until then, here are some pictures of him.

Modeling his stylish new raincoat:

Helping me grade finals:

An American tragedy

2010-05-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I was drinking cheap beer long before the economic downturn made it cool to do so. And anyone who knows me knows that my favorite beer for the past several years has been Miller High Life.

Normally there's no issue buying High Life. In fact, I cannot think of a time - including the Kentucky Derby, Indianapolis 500, or Alabama-Tennessee football game - when I've tried to buy a case and couldn't do so because of supply issues. Which is what made my afternoon visit to Publix so tragic. This was the scene of the crime:

All the High Life was gone! As you can see, there was one 12 pack of High Life Light cans and two 12 packs of High Life Light bottles. I stared at the shelf in stunned silence for the better part of five minutes. I asked two stock boys and a cashier if there was any in the back and they all informed me that the beer company only leaves what fits in the cooler. I asked if any of them had the delivery guy's cell phone number. Nothing but blank stares. So I did what I had to do: I bought the cans of High Life Light.

I can't stand light beer of any sort - even High Life Light - but I had no choice. I got the cans (since bottles are pretentious) and went home to sulk. And to drink an unreasonable facsimile of my favorite - and only Union-made - beer. If this problem isn't rectified by Saturday, Publix has lost me as a customer for life.

I named a dog

2010-04-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Kelley rescued this ferocious beast of a dog who was recently carted off from someone's front porch by animal control. I figure animal control's resources could have been better allocated that morning, but maybe the person who found him outside has some phobia of animals that weigh less than 10 pounds and sleep 23 hours a day.

Anyway, Kelley hadn't really gotten around to naming him and I decided he needed one. His list of accomplishments includes sleeping 98% of the time and refusing to fetch, chew, or play. As far as dogs go, he's pretty much a dud. Which is why I named him Dudley. Fortunately he's pretty cute and likes to snuggle when he sleeps.

At his checkup today, the vet found that someone had shot him with a BB gun and that the BB was still lodged in his skin. Any person who could shoot a dog this defenseless with a BB gun should be violated in ways that I won't publicly state. Suffice to say, I think it's reprehensible that someone could shoot a dog that clearly couldn't possibly threaten him. The good news is that the BB didn't really injure Dudley and with the exception of needing some worm medicine, he's in pretty good shape.

At the corner of Watermelon Rd and MLK Blvd

2010-04-08T15:14:00.001-07:00

Kenon and I had lunch at Archibald's Barbeque today. Hard to believe we drove right past it the first time by considering the building is in such pristine condition and conveniently located five steps behind the proprietor's house. Check out the grease running down the side of the chimney where they smoke the meat. Yummy.

The food was pretty good and the inspection certificate said they earned a 98%, though I'm not entirely certain there's anyone working for the Health Department who's foolish enough to think he could walk away and actually live after giving this place a low grade. It's probably safe to assume that grade is a bit inflated.

If you'd like to visit Archibald's, just take Watermelon Road west to Martin Luther King Blvd. And no, I couldn't make that shit up if I wanted to. Kenon was even more astounded by the irony and blatant racism than I was.

Not that it should come as a shock, but Archibald's accepts cash only and there are no restroom facilities unless you count several large trees in the back yard. Also, there are no wetnaps, so it's best to get the pork sandwich instead of the ribs if you don't want sticky hands on the drive home.

Alabama counting lesson

2010-03-04T11:57:00.000-08:00

It's bad enough that I have to walk by these giant bathrooms on wheels on my way to class every day, but should I really have to lose IQ points doing it?

A small victory against big pharma

2010-03-03T13:11:00.001-08:00

I've had a headache for the past two weeks. It's likely from stress, but maybe it's a brain tumor. I don't really know.

My supply of generic ibuprofen gave out this afternoon and I got a real gem of a migraine after lunch so I stopped at the world's most inefficient BP on the way home to get some Excedrin (you know, the headache medicine) with the hope that it might stave off the worst of the symptoms. When I got in my car and opened up the little pack that was supposed to contain two pills, I realized I had gotten not two, not three, but four and a half pills! This was nearly as exciting as the time I cracked open an egg with two yolks.

Lest I be foolish enough to think that this was my lucky day, I was reminded why my life sucks when I came home and my phone bill was in the mailbox. Overages again. Damn you AT&T.

Dr. Zhou: I've never seen an old man with muscles like that before."

2010-02-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

I presented a chapter about electromyography in my psychophysiology class today. This was the opening slide:

The professor remarked that he'd "never seen an old man with muscles like that before." The whole thing seemed to be a big hit, though I was a little disappointed that Mary Katherine didn't attend class today for obvious reasons. This has the potential to be a favorite class; stay tuned.

A new old drum

2010-02-21T16:54:00.000-08:00

It's not that I needed another snare drum, but this old Kent was impossible to pass up. The seller was parting with his collection (http://www.vintagedrumforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=12817&d=1264905999) of 30 Kent snares and two Kent kits and was nice enough to separate two of the snare drums and sell them to me. I kept this red sparkle one and shipped its blue onyx cousin to Rob Edwards, who is now on the road with Days of the New.

Even with new heads and snares, I've got less than a hundred bucks total in this drum, so I don't feel that guilty for buying it. The biggest problem is that the shelving unit in my apartment is now completely full, which means that I can either take some more drums home to store at my dad's place or get another shelf, which of course will create the problem of empty shelf space that needs to be filled with more drums. It's a vicious, expensive cycle.

Santa sighting

2010-02-19T08:16:00.001-08:00

Santa Claus is vacationing in Alabama and wearing a Hawaiian shirt. His popularity on campus is second only to that of coach Bear Bryant. I assume he didn't travel via reindeer as he is smart enough to realize that they would be shot on sight upon entering 'Bama airspace.

Fred receives the gift of warmth

2010-02-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

Fred's Snuggie arrived in the mail today and Kristi reported that he wore it for five minutes with "no complaint." We'll see how long that lasts. Perhaps he'll put two and two together if he wears it outside and stays warm, but I'm doubtful. He never really was the smartest dog on the block. But he's certainly the cutest.

And yes, I deserve ridicule for buying an item that I once publicly mocked. So be it.

Fred report

2010-02-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

Fred was apparently exhausted from a major day of playing with other dogs on Suday. Kristi was good enough to send me a photo of the aftermath and reported that he lounged all day today. Clearly, he remains the world's greatest dog.

Great Alabama blizzard of 2010

2010-02-12T11:56:00.001-08:00

I made a snowperson from the few flakes that stuck to the top of my car this morning. You can see the accumulation on the street that was responsible for the university and many businesses closing today.

The orange hat that I put on my snowperson is an old guitar pick I found in the parking lot. It's there for scale more than anything.